Consonants and Vowels...

So, I went and talked to my son's Doctor this evening... He just happens to be a shrink... and boy oh boy, did he shrink my head! lol My son has pervasive developmental disorder, it is a type of Autism. He is 12 and we have quite a bit if "drama" at home with home recently. He has been so angry and violent. It is so difficult. My home life is a tornado... I am constantly dodging his behavior, trying to nurture him and in the process NOT ignore my sweet 10 year old... Ugh. I am so stressed. I work full time, take the kids to football, and manage a household with a child with a disability... I am disorganized at best. I am forgetting to pay bills, to do simple tasks... everything gets cloudy and lost in my head somewhere!!! So, I asked the Dr for some ADD medication, I feel I have issues because I can't seem to focus all of the time and make all of this work! He just laughed at me. And then sternly told me that there was nothing wrong with me. He said that I am "normal"? A normal woman in an abnormal situation that is coping the best way she can... However, he says "Colin will still be Colin, as he is, in the morning... There is no changing that, no cure." It broke my heart and pissed me off at the same time! No cure, my ass... I sat and pondered that for a long long time. Then it hit me in the face, knocked the wind out of me... Every day, I wake up, stretch, and envision my day... I envision a dream, not reality. I put myself and my family in situations that I am sure will turn out a certain way for I have "seen" it in my head, and then am miserably disappointed when it turns out differently. I am not living in reality. The Dr was right. If I learn to accept the fact that my son has this problem, and embrace it, the pain and all... Instead of wasting time and energy on wishing things were different, work on "dealing"... Things may just get clearer. Time will tell.