Consonants and Vowels...

As I go on my journey that is my life, I am inclined to write about experiences or feelings, share pics, recipes, ideas, oh just whatever may pop into my cluttered brain. Feel free to read and or share if you so desire...

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Oy... Whatever

Maybe I should see a Dr.... I cried in my driveway for 20 minutes last night talking to my mom. I didn't even want to go in. (Despite my new phone being just inside! ;) ) I finally just sucked it up and went inside. The house was TRASHED. The kids were chasing each other and screaming, They had been "folding" laundry, it was all over the living room, it appeared as if they were launching clothing grenades at each other as if in a war... Husband sleeping upstairs. They hadn't eaten lunch or had their medication for the day. I just cried some more... Started dinner, I made sloppy joes, homemade. They were so much better than the pre made stuff. Then I left. I drove for about an hour, listened to the radio, it pissed me off too, so I drove in silence. I picked up a couple (2 only) beers at Belmont. My Mothership wit that I love so much...

By the time I got home, the kids had the laundry folded and they were apologetic. Husband still sleeping. Apparently he had stayed up intil 11 am playing computer games, so I was on my own until he got up. We ate dinner and then I played with my new phone. I really like it alot! I deserve it. (I got it for free... :) ) So, you can't beat that.

2 comments:

KrisMrsBBradley said...

I say this with all the respect in the world, but maybe you should see a doctor. This sounds a lot like depression. And who could blame you? You have a LOT on your shoulders, and it looks like you are carrying that load by yourself for the most part.

Meds can be a great thing along with therapy. And the dr.s could be just the people to be able to tell you how much is the Lupus and how much is taking advantage.

I hate to say it, but if hubby can stay up all night playing games, but can't over see the kids, it sounds like taking advantage.

I sort of hate to say these things, for the whole "kill the messenger" thing, but I figure if you are posting these things, you've already really figured it all out, and maybe just need someone to say it out loud to you.

You are so in my thoughts and prayers.

... said...

Yea, it could be depression. But I think it is self imposed and environmental. I have seen a Dr before and he told me I just needed to change my life.

And I don't want to "kill the messenger"... lol I know he is taking advantage. I am just a real puss and I put up with so much. In many ways I feel I "owe" him something. That is a long story... Then we found out he was sick and well, now I just feel bad for him. I do love him, but it is hard to be "in love" with someone who doesn't respect you!!! :)

Thank you for your words!!! It means alot!